


Aisle 7

by lorenisnotcool



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Bag boy castiel, Car Accident, College, Destiel - Freeform, Established Relationship, F/M, Grocery Store, M/M, pizza place
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-30
Updated: 2013-09-27
Packaged: 2017-12-16 16:55:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 21,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/864377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lorenisnotcool/pseuds/lorenisnotcool
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU Castiel Novak is a grocery store bag boy, where he meets a gorgeous stranger. However it isn't his last encounter with the unnamed the man. </p><p>I suck at summaries sorry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Would you like paper or plastic?”

“Plastic.” Cas nodded and started to bag the groceries. Another middle-aged woman buying groceries for her family, most likely.

“Would you like help-”

“No.” He faked a smiled and put the last of her bags in her cart. He always gets the same response from everyone. A rude _no,_ along with a roll of the eyes and a bit of annoyance in their voice. He swears he needs to find to find a better job, but for now this will have to do.

_8:45_ he thought, only 15 minutes until he got off, all he had to do was last fifteen more minutes and force smiles and pretend like he was actually happy to be working a grocery store at 22. More and more customers came and went, and then it was finally 9:00 o’clock and he could go home. He’d been working for 12 hours that day, trying to earn some extra cash for a new car. His old beat up 1982 Honda Civic wasn’t cutting it anymore. It practically looked like a mini-station wagon. He needed a change. He went to the back of the store and clocked out at 9:03 p.m. He walked out to the back and finally got into his car.

He put his keys in the ignition and started it, except it didn’t start. “Fuck me, not again.” He turned the keys a couple of more times and the engine finally started up. He made his way out of the parking lot and onto the main street, passing a few people walking the streets and a couple of people he hoped, were sleeping on the sidewalk.

When he finally got home, he quickly stripped off his clothes to take a shower. The hot water had never felt so good, considering the heater in his car refused to work and it was the middle of December. Once he got out and changed into an old hoodie and some sweat pants, he turned on the tv he had in the living room, to catch the last 45 minutes of the original Karate Kid. He sat on his couch, and before he knew it, it was suddenly 8 a.m. and he had to start getting ready for work, again. Thankfully he only had 8 hours today and could go home and catch up on some of his reading.

* * *

 

“Hey Cas, can you go restock aisle 7? There’s no more white bread.” Cas nodded in agreement and went to the back to get some bread. He walked over to aisle 7 and leaned down to put some more bread on the shelves. Pulling the cart closer to him he knocked, pretty much everything on the next shelf, off and onto the floor.

“Shit.” He went over and started cleaning that mess too. And then suddenly there was someone there helping him. “You don’t have to, this is my fault.” He said still looking at the ground picking up the knocked over tortillas and hamburger buns.

“No it’s alright, I want to help.” Cas looked up and smiled at the kind stranger helping him. Once everything was off the floor and back onto the shelf he stood up and shook the guy’s hand.

“Thank you.”

“No problem.” The stranger smiled and walked away. Cas watched him leave, and swore he had never see eyes so green in his entire life.

He went back up to the front to continue bagging.

“Paper or plastic?”

“Whatever you recommend.” Cas looked up, and there was the stranger again. Cas smiled and started bagging everything in plastic bags.

“I know people say these are bad for the environment, but you can also use them as trash bags, so I guess they have two uses.”

“Ahem.” Barked the cashier, towards Cas.

Cas looked down and gave the bags to the guy who didn’t seem to ever stop staring at him. “Here you go.”

“Thanks.” He said grabbing the bags and walking past Cas. He stopped once they were shoulder to shoulder and he said “I’ll see you soon.” And winked, walking towards the exit. Cas had never felt more excited, but yet so scared in his life.

* * *

 

“Sammy! I’m home!” Dean shouted from the front door, walking into the kitchen. He owned a nice sized apartment. It had two bedrooms, a pretty decent sized living room, but a kitchen that was unbearably small. He started unpacking his groceries putting the milk and eggs into the fridge, and the door nearly hit the counter behind him. He took out the bread next, setting it on the counter, smiling, he remembered the worker at the grocery store, bright blue eyes, and a smile, that he swore, literally lit up the room.

“Uh, Dean?” Sam said, looking confused at Dean, “Daydreaming?” Dean pushed him slightly knocking him into the table behind him. “Ow!”

“Shut up, I barely even pushed you.”

“Yeah, say that to the giant bruise on my back!” Sam exclaimed, rubbing his lower back. He walked over to the fridge, looked inside, and looked around the rest of the kitchen. He stopped and sat himself on the counter and stared at Dean. Once Dean noticed he was being looked at, he turned around and gave a confused look.

“Enjoying the view?”

“Did you forget something?” Sam smiled.

“No? I got everything!”

“I don’t think so.”

“Yes! I got the milk, bread, eggs, and even your stupid little power bars!” He answered, throwing the box at Sam.

“Where’s the water?” Sam added.

“Damn, okay I’ll go back tomorrow and get a case of water.”  Dean walked out of the kitchen and into his room, smiling slightly. He knew he forgot the water, but wanted an excuse to go back so he could see the bagboy. It was only 2:30 p.m. so he decided to take a quick nap before going to work at the local McDonald’s. He hated taking night shifts, because that meant he had to leave Sam at the apartment alone, but he had to earn money somehow. He always told himself this was temporary but it never seemed to change.

* * *

 

Once Cas got off work that evening he had decided to go see a movie with a couple of friends, Naomi and Michael. They went and saw “The Last Exorcism 2” and throughout the entire movie he questioned how it could be the last one if it was the second movie to the first “last” exorcism, and before he got to finish his point he got a bag full of popcorn dumped on him.

Naomi and Michael were a “thing” but they never admitted it, they were both his best friends, and they never made him feel like a third wheel like all his couple friends did. And they were the only ones who knew his biggest secret. It wasn’t a bad thing they had told him. They treated him just the same as they had before, which he loved.

“God, that movie was terrible.” Cas complained as they walked out of the theater.

“I didn’t really understand it; the girl just really confused me.” Naomi replied.

“Yeah well maybe because you were busy with something else,” He nodded towards Michael who was getting a refill on his drink before they left, “That you didn’t get to actually watch the movie.” He laughed when Naomi hit him on his arm.

“You’re just jealous because I chose him over you.”

“So jealous!” He winked at her and smiled. Michael walked back towards them.

“I’m hungry, are you guys hungry?” Naomi and Cas nodded in agreement that they should go get some dinner. Naomi suggested that they should go out somewhere nice, while Michael and Cas both agreed they should just go get some fast food and finally talked Naomi into getting some McDonald’s. Once they got out of the car Naomi held out her hand for Cas to hold it. He smiled and held her hand. It wasn’t uncommon for them to do this, they both knew they would always be just friends. The walked into the fast food joint, and stood at the back of the line discussing what they should get. Naomi held onto Cas’s arm and he joked around with her saying they looked like a couple and Michael added,

“As if that would ever happen.” Cas rolled his eyes at him and they walked up to the register and Michael ordered first, “I’ll have the Double Cheeseburger with an order of large fries,” He turned towards Cas and Naomi, “A large fry will be enough for all of us right?” They nodded in agreement. “And a large drink.” Naomi went up next, still latched on to Cas.

“I’ll have the chicken wrap, no mayo, and a small drink.” She let go of Cas’s arm and gave him some cash so he could finish up and pay for the meals. Cas looked up at the menu and started to order.

“Um, I’ll have the chicken salad, and a medium drink.”

“That’ll be 10.93.” Cas reached into his pocket to pull out the extra four dollars and handed it to the cashier. He looked up and there he was, the mysterious stranger, with the unnatural green eyes. Cas smiled and said,

“I guess you were right about seeing me soon.” The cashier smiled at him and handed him seven cents.

“I don’t know if I was right, I was just hoping I would be able to see you again.” Cas smiled, and looked down, blushing a little. “But maybe I can see you again,” Cas looked back up again, “Well outside of our jobs, I hope.”

“Yeah, I’d like that.” Cas smiled and walked towards his friends sitting in the empty side of the booth.

“Who was that?” Naomi asked.

“I don’t know, I saw him earlier today at work, he helped me pick up some food that I had dropped, and now I just saw him here.”

“Well he was checking you out while we were ordering, I can tell you that.” Michael had added.

“No he wasn’t!” Cas laughed, but also kinda hoped he was.

“Yes he was, I swear! Naomi wasn’t he checking him out?!” Michael looked at Naomi who was sitting next to him, she looked over at Cas and smiled.

“He was checking you out. When I was ordering I could tell, he would punch something in on the register and look at you, and then look back at the register. I think he likes you!” She sounded really excited.

“He can’t like me! He doesn’t even know me, we’ve barely said like 10 words to each other.” Cas felt a little disappointed for some reason. He was getting his hopes up on some guy that he didn’t know, and would probably never see again. Naomi and Michael looked at each other and started their own conversation. Cas folded his hands on the table and started twiddling his thumbs. He looked up at the register and looked at the stranger, who was also looking back at him. He gave him a small smile and Cas looked down again, blushing.

“Number 84!” Someone had shouted from behind the counter.

“Oh that’s us. Who wants to go and-” Cas cut himself off because suddenly someone was walking over giving them their food.

“Here you guys go.” He smiled towards Cas and walked back up to the front.

“See! He’s interested in you! No one brings your food to your table here!” Naomi exclaimed. Cas smiled and got his food, a little paper was taped onto the top, Naomi and Michael were still too interested in their conversation to notice, so Cas grabbed it and read it under the table.

_I think you’re really cute. And if I see you again, I think it’s decided that we need to go out._

And that’s all it said. He expected him to write his number on it, or at least his name. No, but now it was up to them. If he saw him another time, they would go out, well he would hope.

He was smiling at the note, he folded it back in half and tucked it into his pocket and began to eat. Wondering if they would meet again.

* * *

 

Dean came home that night about 12:30, he went into Sam’s room to see if he was asleep, which he was. He went into his bedroom and stripped off his work uniform. Changing into a white thermal and some gray sweatpants. He laid down and thought about _him_. Part of him wondered if the guy was even interested in him. There was proof that he could be straight. That girl was all over him when they were ordering. But then again, he said he’d wanted to see him again. Was he just being led on by this gorgeous grocery store worker who actually straight? Dean didn’t know. He hoped not though. He didn’t think he had ever, wanted someone so badly like this before. He’d barely even talked to him. He didn’t even know his name! He had literally known him for less than a day. But found himself crazy about this guy. He smiled and turned over on his side, trying to get some sleep, remembering that tomorrow he might see him, again.

* * *

 

Cas kept looking at the door anytime someone would walk in. It was getting near the end of his shift and he felt like he was being stood up. He had thirty minutes left of his shift and he was losing hope that he was coming in. He sighed and continued to bag the groceries.

“Cas, I’m going to need you to go organize the drinks, apparently some kids put root beer where the orange soda is supposed to be and put the grape soda where the root beer is supposed to be and the lemonade where the Gatorade is supposed to be.” Cas put down the bags while another worker came over to take his spot. He walked over to the aisle and saw it looking completely unorganized. He started on the sodas, making sure they looked okay. He moved onto the Gatorades, considering those were one of their biggest sellers. And kept going for what felt like forever.

* * *

 

Dean walked into the store, heart racing and palms sweaty. He looked over at the bagboys, and the one he was interested was not there. He felt disappointed. He knew this might happen. He scared him off. Maybe he was straight, and was never actually interested in him. He looked through all the aisles trying not to look too suspicious. Going down every other one and acting like he needed something from there. He remembered that he actually came for something other than the bagboy, he needed water. He walked over to the last aisle of the store, to find exactly what he had been looking for, plenty of cases of water, and the bagboy. He ducked into the next aisle. Nervous. What should he do? What should he say? Should he just act nonchalant? No he couldn’t, he was sure he had to ask _him_ out. He peeked over into the aisle and saw that he was still messing with the drinks. He took a deep breath and walked over. He was sat on the floor making the drinks on the bottom row look nice, so Dean put his hands on his shoulders and leaned by his ear,

“Need help?”

* * *

 

Cas looked back and saw green eyes looking into his. He stood up and turned around so that they were face to face.

“I just finished actually.” He said quieter than he expected. The stranger, had one arm on the shelf behind Cas leaning in close to him. He had looked down at Cas’s name tag,

“Castiel, that’s a unique name.”

“Yeah, my grandparents picked it out. It was the name of some really high priest they used to know or something like that.” He laughed, feeling nervous that this guy was so close to him, he noticed the freckles running across his nose, he wanted to reach out and run his thumb along them, but he thought it might be a bit too soon. “And I don’t think I ever caught your name.” Cas smiled slightly.

“My name is Dean.”

“Well it’s nice to officially meet you, Dean.” Dean smiled and pushed himself off the shelf and walked over to the waters.

“So, Castiel.” Dean stood with his back to him, also feeling nervous. “Are you the kind of person who likes to get pizza?” Dean flinched at the way it sounded, awkward and uncomfortable. This definitely wasn’t the best way he had asked someone out.

“I like pizza.” Cas replied, chuckling. Still standing against the shelf containing a variety of drinks. He walked over towards Dean a little, putting less space between them. Dean turned around and smiled, he wasn’t sure if he had ever been so happy that someone said yes to go out with him.

“Okay then. Can I take you out? Like pick you up and we can go pizza somewhere, sometime-” Cas moved closer to him, putting his hand on his arm.

“I would like that, very much.” Cas gave him a small smile.

“Are you busy Saturday night?” Cas shook his head. “Okay. Okay awesome.” Dean smiled again. “I’ll pick you up about 7?” his heart was basically about to burst out of his chest.

“Yeah, that sounds good.” Cas dropped his hand from Dean’s arm.

“Okay.” Dean said, still smiling. He started to walk backwards, happy that Cas had said yes.

“Don’t you think you might need my number?”

“Right! That could be important.” Dean pulled out his cellphone and handed it to Cas, who typed in his number and handed the phone back to Dean.

“There you go.”

“Okay.” Dean looked up from his cellphone, smiling like a fool. “I’ll see you Saturday.”

“See you Saturday.” Cas smiled back at him, and watched Dean walked off. He was actually really excited. This was his first date, well with a guy. He wondered if it would be the same, like when he went out with Anna in the 10th grade. Probably not. He looked at the time and seen his shift had ended 15 minutes ago. He clocked out and left. Looking forward to Saturday. He got tomorrow off, which was Friday, so he’d have to figure out a way to keep busy. And Saturday he worked from 8-4. So he’d still have plenty of time to go home and get ready before Dean picked him up.

Once Cas got into his apartment and settled into his bed, he found sleep quickly, well close. He knew he was about to fall asleep when he heard his phone going off on his nightstand, he grabbed it and answered the call.

“Hello?” He said, half asleep.

“I just wanted to make sure you didn’t give me some bogus number that directed me to some Chinese dry cleaners or something.” Dean said on the other line.

“I would never.” Cas chuckled at the thought.

“Are you asleep?”

“I was getting there.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I should let-”

“No, no, it’s okay. Really. I don’t have to be up early or anything.” Cas turned over so he was laying on his back staring up at the ceiling.

“Oh, okay.” Dean replied. He was lying down too. Except he was on his side looking out the window. He wondered if him and Cas had a future together, would they fall in love? Although Dean already felt like he was, he wasn’t sure if Cas felt the same way. “So.” Dean had finally said, after a long period of silence.

“So?” Cas questioned.

“Um, who was that girl with you last night? I’m not trying to pry or anything, I just want to know if I have any competition.” Dean laughed nervously. He heard Cas laughing on the other line.

“No, don’t worry. Naomi is just my friend. She knows I don’t exactly have a thing for-”

“Tits?” Dean asked. And heard, again, Cas laughing, except harder this time. And Dean joined in with him.

“Yeah, they’re not that appealing to me.” Cas said, still laughing. Once Dean had composed himself he wondered if he should ask Cas more questions, or if he should wait until their date. “What’s your last name?” Cas had asked.

“Winchester.”

“Like the gun?”

“Yeah, like the gun.”

“You should try to convince them you’re related to the guy who made them, so you can get your hands on some money. Like if there was something famous about Novak I would definitely try to get my share.” Cas added.

“Honestly,” Dean bit his lip, “I’ve already tried.” Cas again was laughing, which made Dean laugh, he enjoyed hearing him laugh.

“You have?! That’s fantastic.” Dean looked over at his clock and noticed it was already 11:30.

“I have an early day tomorrow, but maybe I’ll call you tomorrow night. Alright?” Dean stated.

“Alright.” He heard Cas say.

 “Alright.”

“Do you think you should maybe hang up now?” Cas added, with a small laugh.

“Yeah I should. Alright. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“Alright.” Cas laughed and then hung up, because he had a feeling Dean wouldn’t.

“Alright.” Dean whispered to the dead line. He put his phone under his pillow and went to sleep. Counting down the hours until he got to see Cas again.

* * *

 

Friday went a lot faster than Cas had expected. He spent the morning lying on the couch watching The Karate Kid. When the afternoon came he cleaned his apartment; dusting, mopping, doing dishes, cleaning the bathroom, and vacuuming. Naomi and Michael came over dinner. They ate on couch with tv trays watching reruns of _I Love Lucy._ Cas told them about Dean and how they were going out tomorrow night. Naomi help Cas pick out an outfit to wear, while he tried it on he asked Michael “if you had a thing for guys and saw me in this would I look hot to you?” To which Michael told him he was uncomfortable answering, but yes he did look “pretty damn hot.”Cas and Naomi fell on the bed laughing, and Naomi started questioning whether or not their relationship was at stake.

They finally left at 11:40 when Cas had to force them out the door because he had work in the morning. Michael told him to make sure he scored because he needed it. Cas shut the door and smiled to himself. He cleaned up the living room, putting the dishes in the sink and the trays back by the tv. He looked over his outfit one last time. Dark blue jeans with a dark gray sweater, that fit him loosely, but not too loose, which he liked. He hoped it wasn’t too depressing of an outfit, but it was winter and he certainly didn’t want to get sick. He finally went to bed at 12:15, later than he had wanted to. Part of him hoped Dean would call him, but if Dean did call he’d be up even later. So he was thankful that he didn’t call.

Work went by fast, he spent the day in the back mostly, taking inventory and restocking all the cold stuff from the room behind. He was glad they kept him busy today. When he got home he got out of his work uniform and took a shower. When he got out he had a text from Dean, asking him what his address was. He quickly replied and looked at the time. 5:54. He still had like an hour left. So he piddled around the apartment letting his hair dry. He still hadn’t gotten dressed and when he looked at his phone again, it was 6:35.

“Dammit!” He ran into the bathroom to put some gel in his hair and put deodorant on. When he heard someone knocking at the door he pulled his sweater over his head and quickly pulled his pants on. He ran over to the door to answer it.

“You’re a little-” He frowned. It was Naomi.

“I’m sorry! I have to meet him!”

“No,” Cas shook his head lips pressed together, “You do not! I have to finish getting ready he’ll be here any minute! And you being here won’t make it any better! So go!” He proclaimed, pushing Naomi out into the hallway and shutting the door. He ran back into his bedroom putting on some socks and tying his shoes. He put on some cologne and checked himself in the mirror to make sure he looked okay. He fixed his hair a little and pulled on one of his black pea-coats, making sure it was unbuttoned, he thought he looked too much like a stick when he buttoned it. He finally heard a knock on the door. He ran to it but then realized he shouldn’t seem too excited, so he stopped in front of the door and waited a couple of seconds before opening it.

“Hey.” Dean said, arms folded across his chest. Cas noticed he had some snowflakes in his hair. Great it was snowing tonight.

“Hey.” Cas smiled.

“You ready to go?” Dean nodded towards the elevators. Cas nodded and walked into the hallway, shutting the door behind him. The walk was silent to the elevators, but a comfortable silence. When they got in Cas pushed the button to the bottom floor. Dean stood close to Cas. Their shoulders touching and the back of their hands brushing.

Dean thought his palms were too sweaty to actually hold Cas’s hand, so he didn’t. They walked over to Dean’s truck. It was a small classic truck, all black, 2 door. Dean went over and opened the door for Cas, once Cas was in the truck he put on his seatbelt and then Dean got in and started it up. They drove over to the pizza place, listening to the classic rock stations, Dean would hum along and Cas took a mental note that whenever he was with Dean to play this station.

They arrived to their destination within ten minutes and they walked inside and sat at a booth in the corner of the restaurant. It was a booth that was obviously meant for a party of 5-8 people, but there wasn’t anyone really there so it didn’t matter. They both sat on opposite sides of the booth, Dean stretched out his legs under the table and kicked Cas’s foot gently.

“Can I start you guys off with something to drink?” the waitress came up with a notepad.

“I’ll have a coke.” Dean answered. Giving her a smile. She wrote it down and looked at Cas.

“Make that two cokes.” She nodded and walked into the kitchen. Cas settled into the booth and put his hands on the table.

“So, Cas. Tell me about yourself.” Dean said, putting his elbows on the table, chin resting in his right hand.

“What do you want to know?” Cas asked.

“Everything!” Dean responded, sitting back in the booth. Cas smiled and looked at his hands before looking back up at Dean.

“Well, there isn’t much. I’m 22, just got my degree in Psychology, a few months ago. And I’m working in the grocery store to earn up some extra cash to pay back my student loans.”

“What about your family?” Dean asked with a curious look on his face.

“I, uh, don’t really have any. My parents both died in a car accident when I was really young. I never had any brothers or sisters.”

“Oh. I’m sorry to hear that.” Dean turned away, regretting that he asked.

“Don’t be. I don’t even remember them.” There was a gap of silence before the waitress came back with their drinks.

“Here you two go.” She set the cokes down on the table and pulled out her notepad. “Are you guys ready to order?” Dean looked over at Cas.

“You like pepperoni?” Cas nodded in agreement. “A medium pepperoni pizza.”

“Okay!” She smiled at them and went back to the kitchen too place the order. Cas took a sip of his drink then looked at Dean.

“What about you? Do you have any family?”

“Yeah, my dad lives about 30 minutes away, he’s a mechanic. He does a lot of traveling around the country looking for cars to take back to the shop and fix up.”

“Any brothers or sisters?” Cas asked, intrigued to learn more about Dean’s family.

“Yeah, one brother. His name is Sam. He lives with me since my dad isn’t always home. He came with me once I turned 20 and bought my own place, he was 12 at the time, and he’s getting ready to turn 15 in a couple of months.” Dean smiled. Cas noticed he liked talking about his brother. Dean looked at Cas, “So, you want to be a Psychologist then?”

“Yeah, once I pay off my loans I’m gonna try to open my own practice. The mentally insane people have always interested me.” Dean laughed and nodded.

“Interesting. So you’ll be like a very intellectual genius making all sorts of money off the people who have the voices talking to them.” He laughed rubbing his hand over his mouth. Cas laughed along with him.

“Basically.” He smiled. “What do you want to do once you’re finished with the fast food?”

“Well! I want to take over my dad’s shop once he gets tired of it. I love fixing up cars. I used to work part time over there, but then when I bought my place and Sammy moved in with me, it was just too hard to go back and forth, so I just got a job here for the time being. I still go up to the shop every other weekend to take Sam to visit. I work on a few cars and try my best to help him out.”

“Did you fix up your truck out there?” Cas asked.

“Yeah, well my dad and his friend Bobby helped me out with it. We started from scratch; all we had to begin with was a frame and an engine. No seats or anything. It took about 4 or 5 months but we finally fixed her up, I was real proud once we finished.” He seemed so happy. So Cas made another mental note. Ask him about cars and about Sam.

“Okay guys! Here is your medium pizza, and here are some extra napkins just in case! Can I get you anything else?” She smiled at the two of them.

“No thanks I think we’re good.” Cas answered, smiling back at her.

“Okay just call if you need anything.” She walked off going to another table to clean it off.

Their meal went by pretty fast, they both had two slices, and had about four left over. Dean had heard some noise coming from another room and asked the waitress what it was, and she told him it was a game room, and Dean’s eyes lit up and he looked at Cas.

“We have to go. You can’t just not go to a game room!” Cas laughed and agreed to go with him. Dean stood up and put his hand out towards Cas. Cas took it and they walked into the game room where they had tons of games. Cas looked at Dean’s face once they walked in and he looked so excited, he knew Dean was going to force him into playing some games, but that was okay, he liked seeing Dean happy.

Cas walked over to the ski-ball machine first, those had always been his favorite, and put in 50 cents to play. He got 50,000 points which got him 50 tickets. He walked over where Dean was, playing a racing game, pressing his foot hard on the gas. He looked really into it so Cas left him alone and went over to one of the shooting games. He inserted the dollar he needed to play and began shooting, missing terribly at every target.

“You need to have your arms more relaxed,” Dean said behind him putting his arms around Cas so he was holding the gun too, “and then aim, and shoot.” This time Cas actually shot the monster and not the little girl holding a dog. Cas felt nervous with Dean’s arms around him, but he liked it at the same time. They stayed like that for the rest of the game and earned about 15 tickets, considering Cas didn’t do so well in the beginning. All together they had about 100 tickets which bought them each a wrist band and a couple of stupid animal hats. Dean had picked out the tiger one while Cas got a goat. Once Dean paid for the pizza, they walked back out to the truck so Dean could take Cas home.

They pulled up to his apartment building and walked up to the front together holding hands; it was still snowing outside, and was freezing. Cas was leaning on the wall by the front entrance of the building, it was about 11:00 p.m. and he knew the doorman had already left. Dean was leaning over Cas, one arm on the wall and the other still holding Cas’s hand.

“I hope you had a good time tonight.” Dean said, forehead pressing against Cas’s.

“I did.” Cas looked up a little at him. “It’s been a while since I had that much fun in a pizza place.” He laughed, and so did Dean leaning in a little closer. Their noses were touching now and Cas’s heart started to race. It wasn’t the first time he had actually kissed a guy, but it was the first time he kissed a guy he actually liked. Cas closed the small space between their lips and kissed Dean. He put his hands behind his neck and Dean put his hands on Cas’s waist. The kiss was slow, their lips moving in sync together. Dean didn’t try to stick his tongue down Cas’s throat, like the guys’ Cas had kissed before did. Neither of them had thought anything could be this perfect. Cas leaned out and pressed his forehead against Dean’s again.

“Do you want to come inside? It’s probably warmer.” He laughed. Dean nodded and Cas took his hand leading him back up to his apartment.

When they got up to the fifth floor and back into Cas’s apartment, Dean sat on the couch watching Cas as he made them some hot chocolate over the stove.

“Y’know it’d probably heat up a lot faster in the microwave.” Dean commented.

“Yes, but it tastes sweeter when I warm it up on the stove.” Cas replied back to him. Dean got up and went over to the tv, turning it on. He looked at Cas’s movie selection, which consisted of; all of the original Karate Kid movies, Back to the Future, Men in Black, and Rush Hour.

“Well you don’t own a lot of movies.” Dean stated, looking at the small DvD case still.

“I only buy what’s worth buying.” Cas turned around to see Dean sitting on the floor looking through Cas’s bookshelf next. Dean took out a book and flipped through it, then put it back on the case. Repeating this a few times.

“Well you certainly have more books than you do movies.” Dean smirked.

“Well I do enjoy reading more.” Cas turned back around to see the hot chocolate was ready. He grabbed two mugs and carefully poured an equal amount in both. Setting the pot back on the stove, he walked over to Dean, who was sitting on the floor still, but he was leaned up against the couch. Cas handed Dean his mug, and set his on the end table by the couch. He walked over to the DvD player and put in The Karate Kid. Walking back over to Dean, he grabbed a blanket from the top of the couch and grabbed his mug, which was still steaming, and he sat next to Dean.

“I hope you like this movie because I’m not changing it.” He turned and smiled at him.

“This is a good movie, I have to admit. But I don’t like part two and three. They should’ve ended it with the first one.” He pulled some of Cas’s blanket onto him, scooting closer so they were shoulder to shoulder. He took a sip of the steaming liquid before flinching at its heat. “Holy hell, this is hot.”

“Putting it on the stove keeps it hotter longer, too.” Cas patted Dean’s leg saying this.

They sat there for the rest of the night, watching movies, talking, and making out a little in between conversations. Dean didn’t leave until almost 3 a.m. when he finally told Cas he had to go. He told him he’d call him tomorrow, or later today considering it was already tomorrow. He kissed him one last time before leaving. Cas didn’t clean up the living room since it was so late, he just crawled into bed and fell asleep. Thinking of the wonderful first date he just had.

 


	2. Chapter 2

“So how was your date?” Naomi asked. Her, Michael, and Cas went out for lunch on Monday, Cas got two days off this week, today and Thursday. They went to a sandwich shop about 45 minutes away, in a small town that had some shops Cas and Naomi wanted to check out, and a used car dealership that Michael and Cas wanted to look at.

“It went really well.” Cas said pushing his salad around the plate. “We went and got pizza, and he came back over to my apartment-”

“Did you score?” Michael winked at him.

“No. I’m not one for sex on the first date. Too awkward!” Cas got a forkful of lettuce and ate it.

“Did he kiss you? Please tell me you guys at least kissed!” Naomi exclaimed.

Cas laughed at her excitement, “Yes, we kissed. Right outside the apartment building. It was so perfect. There were snowflakes falling and he had his hands were wrapped around my waist, it was like a scene out of a movie.” He smiled staring down at his plate.

Michael took a drink out of his water before asking, “Do you like him?”

“Of course he does! Look at him he’s blushing and smiling!” Naomi hit Michael on the arm as if he should’ve already known that.

“Yeah, I really do like him. It’s strange because we just stayed up all night talking and watching movies,” Cas drank some of his water, “and making out.”

“AND YOU MADE OUT?” Naomi yelled loud enough that Cas was surprised no one turned around from their tables to look at them.

Cas smiled, “I feel like I know him really well, like I’ve known him all my life, not just for 5 days. Is it crazy to think that?”

“Not at all, I mean that’s how I felt when Naomi and I first started talking.” Cas and Naomi looked at Michael before bursting into laughter. “What?”

“Are you being serious?!” Cas said in a high-pitched voice.

“Yeah?” Michael answered, not understanding.

“We’ve known each other since 8th grade! We didn’t even start talking until we graduated high school!” Naomi buried her head in Michael’s shoulder, laughing hysterically.

“Well I meant like,” He stared at Cas who was wiping tears from his eyes, “it felt like,” Naomi sat up taking a deep breath, “God, I hate you guys.” He chuckled.

* * *

 

Dean spent most of Sunday and all of Monday at work. Texting Cas in between breaks, and when no one was looking, behind the register. They had plans Thursday so Dean anxiously awaited that to come around. He got Tuesday off so he took Sam up to his dad’s shop so they could spend time together.

“So Dean, you seeing anyone?” His dad asked from under a car.

“Maybe. Why do you ask?” Dean said, taking a sip from his beer, leaning up against the wall.

“Just wondering. I don’t hear too much from you, unless it’s making plans for Sam to come visit.”

“Well you weren’t exactly supportive of my choices, didn’t feel like I should force them on you.” Bobby walked out from the front office closing the door behind him.

“Hey John, you got a phone call up at the front.” He pulled himself out from under the car and wiped his hands on a spare rag, before opening the door and going inside. Bobby and Dean watched him walk inside, and when the door closed Bobby turned to Dean,

“You know, your dad talks a lot about you guys, wishes you would come up and visit more.” Dean looked away from Bobby, taking another sip of his beer.

“Well I only come up to bring Sam. He’s always asking to come over so I do my best.” He turned back to Bobby.

“I know the last time you and John actually talked, things didn’t end well. Hell, I still have the hole in the wall by the register. But your dad has come around to it, Dean. You just need to talk to him.” Dean started to say something before Sam came in.

“Hey Dean?’ Sam said, poking his in through the door.

“Yeah, what’s up?”                                               

“Is it okay if I stay at dad’s tonight? He said he’ll drop me back off tomorrow morning.”

“I’m working tomorrow Sam. I won’t be home.”

“But-” John pushed the door open a little wider before walking all the way in the shop, patting Sam on the back bringing him with him.

“Well when are you off?” John asked.

“I’m not off until Thursday, but I uh- I have plans.”

“I can stay over at Gabriel’s until you’re finished with your plans! Please Dean?” Sam put on his puppy dog eyes, which Dean couldn’t say no to.

“Fine,” Dean sighed, “But make sure you call him and ask if it’s okay, I might be out kinda late.”

“I will! Thank you Dean!” Sam smiled and ran back inside, probably to call Gabriel. Bobby seen a customer at the front so he walked back inside as well. John and Dean stood at opposite sides of the room, Dean finishing off his beer.

“So, what are these plans you have?” John asked. Dean put his beer on the counter behind him and shifted onto his right leg.

“I have a date.”

“A date?”

“Yes, a date.” Dean folded his arms over his chest.

“What’s his name?” John looked interested, but Dean didn’t buy it.

“It’s not like you care.” Dean pushed himself off the counter walking over to his truck, “I should go. I have to get up early tomorrow anyways.”

“Dean, I do care.”

“Okay, I’ll see you next weekend.” Dean got in his truck, slamming the door and driving off.

The 30 minutes he had to himself in the truck he spent singing along to the radio station too loud and thinking about Cas. They were going to spend all of Thursday together. Dean had an entire day planned, and was counting out the hours left. It was 7:38 right now; he had 38 hours and 22 minutes left until he was able to see Cas. His phone started ringing in the cup holder when he was about five minutes from his apartment, he grabbed it and seen it was Sam calling.

“Hello?”

“Dean? Where did you go? I came back out and you were gone.” Dean sighed, before answering Sam.

“I just got angry with dad, and left. I’m sorry I didn’t say bye, I just had to get out of there.”

“Oh.” Sam sounded disappointed on the other line.

“Did Gabriel say it was alright that you went over?”

“Yeah. He asked if I wanted to spend the night, but I told him I’d talk to you first. I didn’t know how late you’d be out.”

“If you want to you can, Sammy. I’ll just pick you up Friday morning, around 11. We can go out and have lunch, just have like a brothers’ day!” It’d been a while since Dean and Sam had done something together, besides hang out at the house and get on each other’s nerves.

“Yeah okay! That sounds cool. I’ll just have dad take me by the apartment on Thursday so I can grab some clothes.”

“Okay. Well I’m almost home, so I’ll see you Friday then, make sure you text or call to check in.”

“I will, Dean.” Sam sounded annoyed by the conversation already.

“Okay, bye.” Dean hung up and pulled in to the parking lot of the apartment complex.

* * *

 

Thursday had finally come; Dean had told Cas to meet him at the town park. Cas didn’t know what Dean had planned, except some sort of lunch. Cas sat on a bench in the middle of the park. He saw kids running around, mother’s pushing strollers along the sidewalks, and dad’s pushing their sons on the swings. Cas had always told everyone it didn’t bother him that he didn’t exactly have a family; but it did. His grandparents raised him until he was four, and they got into a car accident and passed away from the impact. He didn’t have any other family except an aunt who was locked away in some mental institution up in Wisconsin. He never told anyone that. He just said he had always been raised by his grandparents. When they passed he got moved into a foster home, and another one, and another one, and another one. The first four of homes were okay. Filled with 6 or 7 children at a time. The parents were always nice, but he always just stayed out of sight, so he wouldn’t have to bother them. When he was 8 he moved to his fifth foster home which had three kids. They were the mother and father’s biological children, so he was their first foster child; again he stayed out of sight. Sat up in his room, reading, or on the floor watching tv. Until the dad came home late one night, drunk. He yelled at Cas, telling him he was an outcast, and beat him. That lasted four or five months until Cas turned 9 and was moved to another foster home. This family acted nice. They invited people over for dinner to meet their new “son”, Cas actually felt welcome. He had an older brother, who was sixteen, and an older sister who was thirteen. For the first week, he actually felt like he was in a family. Until he was left home alone with the mom, who raped him. Whenever the father of the house left, Cas begged to go with him, saying he just wanted to get out of the house, but he never went with him except a couple of times. He stayed with that family for two years. Went through sexual and mental abuse from the mother and the older siblings. When he was almost 12 he was put into another house with 10 kids, The eldest sister, Cheyanne, took Cas out to go get clothes and a couple of books one day and he got lost in the store.  When she finally found him she yelled at him on the way to the car and smacked him across the face.

The last two foster houses he stayed at, he didn’t say a word. He did whatever the parents asked him to. The parents would ask him if he was okay, he just smiled and nodded; and would go back up to his room, or room he was sharing, and read. Wishing himself into another dimension. When he was 14 he met Naomi and Michael. The only two people in the school that would talk to him. And he’d been friends with them ever since. They didn’t know he was in a foster home, he had just told them he lived with his grandparents. When he turned 16 he got emancipated, got a job, and lived with roommates. Once he finished high school him, Naomi, and Michael all got an apartment together. Cas went to college full time, working on the weekends. It took a while before Naomi and Michael finally realized why Cas never went out on dates, why he only talked to them, and why he rarely left the house. They confronted him, asking if he had ever gone through some sort of abuse, he smiled and denied it. Saying _“What would make you ask something like that?”_ and he laughed it off. Naomi and Michael said they were just wondering. And laughed with him, though they knew he probably had gone through something.

They didn’t find out he was gay until they walked in on him making out with another guy on the couch. When they talked to him about it, they told him it was okay and it didn’t bother them. Then they all went out to dinner that night.

And here he was now, falling head over heels for someone who could be a complete douchebag. He knew if he and Dean ever became serious he would have to tell him about all of this, about everything he went through. But for now, he would enjoy whatever happy things could come out between him and Dean.

* * *

 

Dean saw Cas sitting on a bench in the park and walked over to him,

“Hey, Cas.” Cas looked up at him and smiled.

“Hey.” He saw Dean had a basket and a blanket. “A picnic?” Cas asked. Dean looked down on at the ground before answering.

“Yeah,” He looked back at Cas, “Please don’t think it’s cheesy or corny or something.” He rubbed the back of his neck laughing. Cas stood and put his hand on Dean’s upper arm.

“I think it’s a wonderful idea.” Dean smiled at him took Cas’s hand in his own, leading him over to an empty area in the park and laying out the blanket. Cas sat down, legs straight out in front of him, and his arms behind him, keeping him from laying down. He watched Dean sit down and unpack the basket.

“I hope you like peanut butter sandwiches.” Dean said laughing. He looked over at Cas, who’s eyes were wide, “What’s wrong?”

“I’m allergic to peanuts.” Dean looked shocked and put them back in the basket.

“I’m sorry, we can go get something else or I can figure something else out we can go back to my place and I’ll make us jelly sandwiches and-” Cas interrupted.

“I’m kidding!” He laughed, sitting up straight patting Dean’s knee. Dean looked at him and shook his head, chuckling to himself.

“I swear, I was about to break down.” Cas laughed even harder at Dean. He went and sat in front of Dean, wrapping his arms around Dean’s neck.

“I’m sorry.” He smiled and kissed him gently on the nose. He turned around and grabbed the sandwiches back out of the basket, “Shall we eat?”

Once they finished eating their sandwiches, and a couple of pieces of pie, they walked around the park for a little bit, until it started raining. They ran to Dean’s truck parked on the opposite side of the street, it took Dean forever to find his keys, Cas pulled the door handle repeatedly until Dean dug out his keys in his left jacket pocket, unlocking the door and getting in. Cas slid over to the middle of the seat, huddling up next to Dean, who turned the heater on full blast. Dean drove back to his apartment this time, since Sam wasn’t home.

They quickly got out of the truck and Dean led Cas up the stairs to his front door. Pulling him in and kissing him; then the front door opened.

Dean and Cas both jerked away from the kiss, and saw John and Sam standing on the inside of the apartment.

“Uh, hey dad.” Dean said, rubbing his hand on the back of his neck.

“Hey,” John said, scanning over Cas before looking at Dean, “I was just bringing Sam by, to pick up some of his clothes for Gabriel’s house.”

This wasn’t the first time Sam had seen Dean kissing another guy, so it didn’t bother Dean that much; but his dad however. John didn’t approve of the way Dean lived; he had just came to terms that his son was gay. Dean was extremely uncomfortable; he looked over at Sam trying to see if he would help, but instead,

“Hello sir, I’m Castiel.” Cas commented, putting out his hand. John grabbed Cas’s hand and shook it,

“I’m John. Nice to meet you.”

“You too.” Cas smiled, and released his hand. He looked down at Sam, “I assume you’re Sam?” He nodded at him shaking his hand as well.

“Yeah.” Sam smiled back at him.

“Dean has told me a lot about you.”

“Really?” Sam asked. He looked really happy to know his brother talks about him, “Well in a good way I hope.” He laughed, and Cas laughed with him.

“He speaks very highly of you.” Cas looked over at Dean who looked very stiff, and completely unaware of what was going on.

John put his hand on Sam’s back, “I guess I should take you over to Gabriel’s house now?”

“Yeah!” He exclaimed walking past Dean and Cas. “It was nice meeting you Cas.” He smiled at him, “Dean you’ll pick me up tomorrow about 11 right?”

Dean snapped out of whatever trance he was in, “Uh, yeah! I’ll call you when I’m on my way.”

“Okay!” Sam ran down the stars to John’s car.

“It was nice to meet you, Cas.” John nodded at him.

“You too sir.” Cas said. John walked down the stairs follow Sam.

Dean walked inside the apartment and let out a long breath; Cas followed him inside, cautiously, and shut the door behind him.

“Are you okay?” He asked, carefully stepping into the living room.

Dean looked around for a minute before looking at Cas, “Yeah, yeah, I just wasn’t expecting to see my dad here.” He awkwardly laughed, sitting down on the couch in his living room.

Cas sat down beside him, “That’s probably not how you wanted me to meet your family, I assume.” Cas looked down at his hands folded in his lap. Dean put his hands over Cas’s, so he was holding them in his own, and turned to him.

“No, no. I’m glad you got to meet them. It saves me the pain of having to plan out an awkward dinner.” He laughed.

Cas still looked disappointed.

“Hey,” Dean leaned Cas’s chin up, so Cas was looking at him. “I really am glad you met them.” He kissed Cas gently, and then leaned out keeping their foreheads pressed together.

“I guess I didn’t make a good first impression though.” Cas said quietly.

“Well you saved my ass out there; I didn’t even know what to do.” Dean’s hand was on the back of Cas’s neck, his thumb rubbing gently over it.

Cas looked at Dean’s eyes, still pondering how they were _so_ green. “So, are you really glad I met them?” He smiled.

“Of course.” Dean leaned out at sat back on the couch. He looked over at Cas and stared at him for a while.

“What?” Cas asked.

“You know we’ve only known each other for 8 days?” Dean stated.

“Really?” Cas questioned it. “It’s felt longer.”

Dean took one of Cas’s hands in his own, “It’s because we have such an amazing connection.” He winked at Cas.

Cas laid down on the couch, resting his head on Dean’s legs, he closed his eyes and thought to himself for a moment. Dean started running his hands through Cas’s hair. Cas wondered if there would be another moment, as peaceful as this one right now.

 


	3. Chapter 3

_*March_ , _three months later_

Over the past few months Dean and Cas fell into a routine; spending weekends at each other’s apartments, going to the pizza place at least once a month for a medium pepperoni pizza and two cokes. Sam starting staying at his dad’s more often, usually staying Friday night through Sunday morning. Once his winter vacation was over and started going back to school again, he’d ask if Cas could pick him up, or take him to school. Dean telling Cas, “You don’t have to, really.” But Cas loved taking Sam places. He even took Sam to a date once with a girl, so Dean wouldn’t find out.

Cas finally got to quit his job at the grocery store in February, and got hired as a fill-in Psychologist at one of the town offices. Dean and Sam took him out to dinner that night, and Cas invited Naomi and Michael out with them too.

Dean got fired from McDonald’s for rudely yelling at a customer when they asked “why did you pick here to work, and not do something with your life.” He left the fast-food joint throwing his hat on the ground and storming out saying “YOU CAN MCSUCK MY COCK.”

_And now here they were._

“Hey, Dean?” Sam walked into the living room of their apartment, “Can I talk to you?”

Dean looked at him and scooted over, gesturing at him to sit on the couch. “What’s up?”

“Okay, so you know I’ve been at dad’s a lot, recently. And him and I have been talking. He doesn’t do any traveling anymore, he just works at the shop now with Bobby, and I was wondering-”

“If I was okay with you going to live with him.” Dean said, looking over at Sam.

“Yeah.” Sam looked down at the floor, and looked back at Dean, “It would be good for both of us, I would be able to spend more time with him, and you could ask Cas to move in with you!” Sam suggested, “You’ve been talking about maybe asking him to move in, and there’s obviously not a lot of space with me here, it would just be chaos.” He looked back down at the floor.

Dean laughed, “Sammy, if you want to move in with dad, you don’t have to try to convince me. You living here was temporary anyways, just until dad stopped traveling. Its fine, I want you to go and live with him, you need that father-son experience.” He smiled at Sam.

“If I go,” he paused and looked up at Dean, “would you ask Cas to move in with you?” Dean scratched the back of his head. Pondering the question.

“I don’t know, I’m not even sure if he’s ready to live-”

“He is! He told me!”

“What?”

“He told me! I asked him a few weeks ago, when he took me to school, I asked if he would ever want to move in with you and he said ‘Well obviously. I’d like to soon, but I’m not sure if Dean is ready for that kind of commitment.’ And I told him you were because you really like him.” Sam smiled.

“He really said that?” Dean didn’t believe it; Cas had always seemed kind of distant about that subject.

“I swear.”

“Okay. Okay, yeah. If you go live with dad, I’ll ask Cas to move in with me.” Sam’s eyes got wide and he smiled, he looked really happy. And Dean was happy that Sam was happy.

“I’ll call dad now and tell him!” Sam jumped off the couch and ran into his room. Dean could hear him talking to his dad sharing the good news. Dean smiled to himself, and thought _how the hell am I going to ask Cas to move in with me._

* * *

 

Dean had Naomi and Michael’s number; he and Cas would go on double dates with them, and they made him feel like he was a part of the group all the time. He eventually picked up both of their numbers just in case he needed them, which in this case, he did.

He called Naomi, and asked if she and Michael were free anytime this week to go and have lunch.

“Is Cas going to be coming?” She sounded curious.

“Um, no. I actually need to ask you guys about Cas. I don’t want him to know anything yet.” She laughed on the other line and said her and Michael were free on Wednesday if he wanted to go out then. He said it was fine and they made plans to go to some Mexican restaurant in town around 2 P.M.

 

“You’re really going to ask him to move in with you?” Naomi looked at Dean from across the table, it was only the two of them; Michael was running late.

“Yeah. I am. Does it seem too soon? Should I wait longer?” Dean looked at her with worry in his eyes.

“No! You should ask him now. Well whenever you have planned. I think he really needs it.” She gave him a gentle smile; reaching for his hand across the table.

Michael came in and saw them at the booth; he sat down next to Naomi. “Dean, I hope you’re not trying to steal her away from me.” Dean laughed and shook his head.

“No don’t worry, she’s all yours.” He put his hand back underneath the table, resting in his lap.

“So, what is it you wanted to talk about?” Michael looked over at Dean.

“He’s thinking about asking Cas to move in with him!”

“Really?” Michael looked over at Naomi and then back at Dean.

“Yeah. I’ve been thinking about it for a couple of weeks, and Sam just told me he wanted to move back in with our dad, so I thought now would be the best time to ask him.”

“That’s really great.” Michael gave him a reassuring nod, and smiled.

“So, the other reason I asked you guys to come out was,” he paused, taking a deep breath, “Do you have any idea how I should ask him?” He laughed, praying they would think of something.

They spent the rest of the lunch discussing ways he could ask Cas; make him a homemade meal and ask him over a candlelit dinner,  take him to a movie and ask him on the way home, wait until he has a cold and spell it out in alphabet soup (Michael’s idea), or,

“Take him to that place you guys always eat at! With the games and pizza!” Naomi exclaimed.

“He’s always talking about that place, telling us what you guys talk about, what you did there, how many prizes you win. I mean that could be another happy memory for him. I don’t see how he could say no.” Michael explained.

Dean took in all these options, thinking it over. Once their lunch was over he thanked them both for their input, he said once he asked Cas, and if Cas said yes, they would have them over for dinner so they could all celebrate.

* * *

 

That following weekend Sam had finished packing up his room. John had borrowed a truck from the shop so they could load everything in and not have to make two trips. Sam walked up to Dean and hugged him tight, Dean returning the action.

“You’ll still let me come back and visit right.” Sam asked into Dean’s shoulder.

“Of course. Anytime you want to come over. You are more than welcome to.” He gave Sam one last reassuring squeeze before letting him go.

Cas came over too, to say goodbye to Sam. He knew he wouldn’t see him as often now that he was moving out. Sam went over to Cas and gave him a hug as well.

“I’m sure I’ll see you when I come over.” Sam laughed, letting go of Cas.

Cas gave him a questioning look, but laughed it off. “Make sure you keep in touch, okay?” Sam nodded and smiled at the both of them. He turned around and walked back to his dad’s truck.

Dean and Cas watched it drive down the street before going back inside. Dean looked around the apartment, nothing had really changed anywhere in the house except Sam’s room and the bathroom; but it still felt different.

“You okay?” Cas asked, shutting the door behind him.

“You wanna stay here tonight?” Dean turned around and asked him. Cas knew he couldn’t leave Dean alone tonight. He had to be up early in the morning to fill in for Dr. Shirley. But he could always wake up earlier and go back to his apartment and get ready.

“Yeah, sure.” Cas walked over to Dean, bringing one of his hands up to his cheek. Dean leaned into it and closed his eyes for a moment.

“It just feels different without him here.” He opened his eyes back up. Taking Cas’s hand in his own.

It was only about 5 o’clock, so they warmed up some tv dinners and ate in living room, Cas made Dean turn on The Karate Kid Part II. Dean complained the entire way through, and Cas would occasionally shut him up with kisses.

They went to bed around eleven that night. Cas had his head laying on Dean’s shoulder. They had their hands intertwined with each other. Dean kissed Cas’s forehead and Cas giggled.

Dean stomach went into a knot. He knew right now was the perfect time to ask Cas.

“Move in with me.” Dean whispered against Cas’s head. Cas shifted slightly, gripping Dean’s hand tighter.

“Okay.” Cas whispered back into the darkness. He felt Dean lean into him more and they both drifted off into sleep.

* * *

 

Cas woke up at six the next morning. He had a feeling Dean wasn’t serious last night, about the whole moving in and everything, he was just tired and missed Sam. Cas decided to take shower at Dean’s apartment. He was sure he had some clothes he wouldn’t miss for one day.

Once he got out, he walked back into the room, looking for a nice pair of pants and a dress shirt. Luckily he found some in the back of his closet. A white long sleeve dress shirt, a pair of black slacks, and a blue tie. He changed in the room, it was only 6:45 and he knew Dean wouldn’t wake up anytime soon. He was facing the door, putting the tie on when he felt hands around his waist. He jumped before turning around,

“What are you doing up?” Cas whispered kissing Dean.

“You weren’t lying in the bed anymore.” Dean brought himself closer to Cas, tucking his head into Cas’ neck.

“I’m sorry; I had to get up for work.” Cas said lightly; still trying to tie his tie.

“Mm, it’s okay.” Dean breathed into Cas’s neck. He started leaving little kisses along Cas’s neck.

Cas laughed lightly, “I have to go to work, Dean.” Dean still didn’t stop. “Babe, I have to go to work.”

“No you don’t,” Dean breathed into Cas’s neck. Cas laughed again, rubbing his hand across Dean’s back.

“Yes I do.”  Dean stopped for a moment, and then moved his way down Cas’s jawline, and towards his mouth. Dean moved his hands to Cas’s lower back, trying to pull him in closer than he was already. Cas sighed into Dean’s mouth, not wanting this kiss to end.

“You know,” Dean said in between kisses, before fully leaning out, both of their eyes closed, forehead to forehead, “When you move in, we can do this every morning.”  Cas opened his eyes looking at Dean.

“You were serious about that?” He looked surprised. Dean opened his eyes, giving Cas a questioning look. He moved his head slightly back.

“Of course, weren’t you?”

“I just thought you missed Sam, or were tired. I didn’t think you actually meant it.”

“I meant it Cas, I want you to live here, with me. I want to come home and see you sitting on the couch or reading at the table or cooking dinner for us. I want you to move in with me.”

Cas smiled and kissed Dean again, “Okay, if that’s what you _really_ want.” He laughed and stepped back, still attempting to get his tie, tied.

“Do you need help?” Dean laughed at him, when Cas nodded. He stepped forward and helped him. Tightening it so it didn’t look sloppy. “You should dress like this more often.”  Dean winked.

Cas rolled his eyes before walking out of the bedroom and into the living room, Dean following behind him. “I’m not going to be working long today, there’s only a few patients coming in, I should be done by 12 or 1 o’clock.” He was at the door getting ready to open it, before turning around, “Then I can go back to my place and start packing everything up.” He smiled and opened the door, and walked out.

* * *

 

Work was dragging on, for Cas. He only had 4 patients today, but it felt like their appointments were two or three hours long, rather than just one. He enjoyed listening to them, and what they had to say. He would give them solutions to try and help solve whatever they were going through, but he constantly found himself looking at the clock. And then it was finally 12:30. His last appointment was finished, so he closed the office and drove to his apartment. He called Michael on the way over, telling him that Dean had asked him to move in, he heard Michael yell to Naomi telling her the good news, and Cas heard her scream in delight in the background. He asked if they would meet him at his apartment to help him pack things up quicker; they agreed.

By the time Cas got to his apartment it was 1 o’clock, Naomi and Michael still weren’t there, so he began packing away his clothes first. After he finished with his clothes there was finally a knock at the door and Michael and Naomi were there.

“So how did he ask you? Did he take you out? Did he make you dinner? How did it happen?” Naomi bombarded him with questions, while she was packing some of his books and DvDs into a box.

“We were lying in bed, and I had my head on his shoulder, and he just whispered ‘move in with me’, I didn’t even think he was serious!” Cas sat down on his couch, “I just thought he was like sad since Sam moved out or was just tired, it wasn’t until this morning when he started talking about that he said he really did want me to move in with him.” He smiled at the floor.

“He didn’t go with either of our plans.” Michael whispered to Naomi.

“What?” Cas asked, looking at them.

“What?” Michael laughed.

“You guys knew he was going to ask me?” Michael and Naomi looked at each other, and then looked back at Cas.

“Us? Knowing? What? That’s, that’s crazy! Why would Dean tell us? I mean c’mon Cas that’s absurd!” Naomi babbled on.

“It’s fine if you guys knew, I have a feeling he asked you for ideas, considering he isn’t the most romantic type.” Cas laughed.

“Yeah, he took us out for lunch on Wednesday, and asked us if it was a smart idea, and how he should ask you. But apparently the only input he took from us was actually asking you to move in.” Michael rolled his eyes.

“I can’t believe he actually asked you guys out, oh my god.” Cas laughed, sitting back into the couch. He looked around his apartment, which was basically filled with boxes now. He had already called his landlord from the office telling him he was moving. He said he’d leave his key on the counter.

“Remember when you first bought this place?” Naomi asked.

“And it was a complete dump. You had so much faith in it.” Michael added.

“But look what I turned it in to! It’ll be a lot better for the next person.” Cas walked into his room, which was now empty except for the bed, and the nightstand. “I guess that’s everything.”  
He came back into the living room, looking at Naomi and Michael.

“Do you want to start putting things in your car?”

“My shit car? Yeah.” They all laughed. He still hadn’t saved up enough for a new car. But with this new job he was getting closer to a new car every day.

They loaded everything into his trunk, back seat, and the passenger seat. Naomi and Michael weren’t going with him, so they said goodbye and said they’d make plans sometime this week to go celebrate.

When Cas got back to the apartment Dean wasn’t there. He figured he probably went out for groceries or something, considering they had a block of cheese, some chips, and a quarter gallon of milk left in the fridge.

It was weird thinking this was his apartment now, he had his clothes in Dean’s- his closet. His own side of the bed; he was actually living with Dean. The thought of it gave him butterflies. By the time he finished unpacking and throwing the boxes away it was already close to seven and Dean still wasn’t home. So Cas tried calling him, but his phone was on the couch; Cas just decided to go out and get them some dinner. He went to a burger place called Freddy’s and picked up a few burgers and fries. He stopped by the gas station and grabbed some waters, sodas, and a couple of beers. He got home at eight, and Dean still wasn’t home. Cas was trying not to worry himself. He called Sam to see if he had heard from him.

“Hey Sam.”

“Hey Cas!” Sam said.

“How’s living with your dad going?” Cas tried making small talk before asking Sam anything.

“Great! Dean called and told me you guys were moving in together!”

“Yeah, yeah we are,” Cas gave a weak laugh, “I already unpacked my things and everything, it feels just like home.”

“I bet.” Sam chuckled.

“What all did you and Dean talk about?”

“Uh, not much. He just told me about you guys moving in together.”

“He didn’t say if he was going anywhere at all?”

“No? Cas is everything okay?” Sam sounded concerned.

“Yeah, no everything is fine. I got here about 4 and Dean wasn’t here, so I went and picked up dinner and just got back and Dean still isn’t here, I just didn’t know if he told you he was going anywhere.”

Sam was silent for a minute, “No he didn’t tell me anything, did you try calling him?”

Cas chuckled, “Yeah, he left his phone on the couch. I’m sure he’s just out running errands or something. I’ll call you when he gets home okay?”

“Okay. Make sure you do, I want to know he’s okay.”

“I will Sam, goodnight.” Cas hung up. He walked around the apartment, looking for anything that might have said Dean went somewhere. He found nothing. He put the burgers in the fridge; he was too worried to eat anything; so he sat on the couch and watched tv.

When he looked at the time again, it was eleven. Dean still wasn’t back. Cas started panicking now, this wasn’t like Dean. If he was out late he would always tell Cas.

So Cas just laid down on the couch and tried to find sleep, hoping that when he woke up, Dean would be there.

* * *

 

The door slammed. Cas shot awake and Dean was standing there; leaning against the wall.

“Dean? Are you okay?” Cas rubbed his eyes. Dean still stood there and didn’t say anything. So Cas got up and walked towards him. “Baby, what’s wrong?” He reached out to put his hand on his arm; but Dean pushed it away walking toward the kitchen. “Dean, talk to me.” Cas stood there, by the door waiting for Dean to answer him. “Where were you Dean? It’s,” Cas took out his phone to look at the time, “It’s 2 am for fucks sake, where were you?”

“Out.” Dean finally replied.

“Out where?” Cas started getting annoyed at this point.

“I was just out okay? God are you going to act like this now that you live here?”

“Not if you make me act like this. You stay out until 2 in the morning and don’t tell me where you are, you don’t take your fucking phone with you! I was worried sick!”

“Well boohoo poor Castiel.”

“Are you drunk?” Cas walked a little towards the kitchen, but giving Dean plenty of space.

“Yes okay I was at a fucking bar all night, they just kicked me out!” Dean started yelling.

“How did you get home? Did you drive yourself?”

“Yeah.”

“Dean! You could’ve gotten yourself killed!”

“Well look here I am safe and sound with my lovely partner who suddenly wants to act like a drama queen because I was out late!” Dean walked towards Cas, his steps wobbly.

“This was our first night together living as a couple and you’re out getting drunk! How the hell do you think that makes me feel? Do you not want to live together? Are you regretting asking me to move in? Because believe me Dean I have no problem taking my things and leaving! Especially if I’m not wanted here!” Cas started yelling now.

“Cas goddamit don’t you see it? Don’t you see anything?”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“This is all new to me! I’ve never lived with someone other than Sam and my Dad! I’ve never had a serious relationship. I freaked out! So I went to the bar for a couple of drinks, and I just stayed there all night.”

Cas turned around and walked over to the couch sitting down, “Yeah well thanks for letting me know.”

Dean followed, but stayed standing, “You don’t need to know where I am every goddamn second of the day!” Dean started raising his voice again.

“You see what you’re turning into right?”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“You’re turning into everything you told me you didn’t want to be! A drunk! Just like your father. You know? The one who abandoned you and Sam? The one that left you and Sam with Bobby 98 percent of the time so he could go out and get drunk? You’re turning into your father Dean!” He started raising his voice too, standing up so he was face to face with Dean.

“You have no idea what the hell you’re talking about Cas! You don’t know anything about my family!” Dean put his hands and Cas’s chest pushing him hard, backwards into the couch. Cas looked up at him with fear in his eyes; He got up and ran into the bathroom, locking the door behind him.

“So what?! You’re just going to lock yourself in there? Hide from your problems? Huh? Are you?!” Dean banged on the bathroom door yelling at him.

The yelling lasted for about an hour and a half. Cas sat with his back to the door and his knees held up to his chest. Crying softly into his arms.

Once Dean finally stopped yelling, he sank down to the floor, leaning his head against the door, regretting everything he said. He could feel the alcohol wearing off, and he realized how much of an asshole he was acting.

“Babe, open the door. Please. I’m sorry for everything I said. Please babe, just open the door.” There was no response. “Babe, I’m sorry. Come out, let’s talk about this. I didn’t mean anything I said. Please come out, Cas.” He heard the door unlock, but it didn’t open.

Cas moved so he was sitting by the bathtub. That way if Dean came in he wouldn’t hit him with the door. He heard it open but still sat, with his head in his arms still. Dean came and sat by him and wrapped his arms around him, kissing him anywhere that he could.

“I’m so sorry Cas.” Cas picked up his head so he was looking at Dean, his eyes were puffy and red.

“I’m sorry too; I shouldn’t have said what I did about your dad.” He looked away from Dean for a moment before Dean put his hand on Cas’s chin making him look at him.

“Cas don’t please. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. You were right, this was our first night together and I totally ruined it. I acted exactly how I told you I never wanted to act.” He started running his fingers through Cas’s hair. “I’m so sorry I put my hands on you babe, it’s never going to happen again I swear okay?” Cas stiffened and started to cry again, tucking his head in his arms. “Cas I’m sorry, I promise it’s not going to happen again, please don’t cry.” He hugged Cas tighter, pulling him in so Cas was laying his head on Dean’s shoulder.

“You don’t understand.” Cas mumbled into his neck.

“Help me understand, what’s wrong. Please just tell me.” Dean whispered to him. Kissing the top of his head.

So he did. Cas told him. About his parents, his grandparents; he told him how he lived in 9 different foster homes from the time he was 4 until he was 16. He told him what went on in the houses, what he went through. He told him about all the physical, mental, and sexual abuse that happened to him. That’s why he ran when Dean pushed him. That’s why they hadn’t done anything more than make out. Because he was scared. Dean hugged him while Cas shook in his arms. Kissing him anytime he could. Apologizing, promising Cas he would never leave him, he would never lay a hand on him again the way he did tonight, promising that they wouldn’t do anything until _Cas_ was ready. Cas told him that he was the only one that knew about this, not even Michael and Naomi knew, though he thought they suspected.

By the time they were finished talking, it was nearly 5 in the morning. They walked into the bedroom and Dean, once again, held Cas in his arms. Whispering “ _I love you so much”_ in his ear. It was the first time Dean had ever said it to Cas; and Cas told him he loved him too. And that’s the way they fell asleep that morning, with hushed I love you’s hanging in the air.

 


	4. Chapter 4

The next few weeks in the apartment were tense. They didn’t talk much, or even make eye contact. They were still always close to each other, lying in bed with someone’s arms wrapped around the other one. Sitting on the couch doing the same thing. They laid around watching movies, mainly The Karate kid. Dean would make them lunch, while Cas usually made breakfast and dinner. A month had gone by and they hadn’t said anything more than “Can you pass the bread.” “I think we need to go grocery shopping.” “Do you want something to drink?” or “What should we watch next?”

Cas took whatever patients the office offered him. So he was usually gone between 8 in the morning and 4 in the afternoon. Exceptions for Mondays because they only stayed open until 12. Dean started working up at his Dad’s shop. Leaving the apartment at about 9:30, and getting home around 3 or 4. Sam would ask how him and Cas were, and Dean always replied with, “We’re good.” And a forced smile, then he would change the subject.

* * *

 

It was Friday now; Dean had stayed home the entire day. Making the house look nice and waiting for Cas to get home. He got his best clothes on and made himself look nice. He didn’t think Cas had ever seen him dress up, so he was nervous and excited at the same time.

He looked at the clock; 4:15. Cas should be home any minute now. He sat on the couch and anxiously awaited Cas to get home. He had his hands folded in his lap and stared at the door, waiting for it to open.

Finally at 4:24 Cas came in, and saw Dean sitting on the couch, nicely dressed. He stiffened a little, before letting out a small gasp.

“Hey.” Dean smiled up at him, standing up.

Cas looked at him, and gave a small smile, “Hey.” Dean walked over to him, wrapping his arms around Cas’s mid-section.

“I thought we could go out tonight. So we could really celebrate us moving in together, since we haven’t yet.” Dean looked into Cas’s eyes, that were wandering up and down Dean’s body.

Cas nodded towards him. “You look really nice in this.” He said, tugging on Dean’s tie. “You should dress like this more often.” He pulled Dean’s tie so their lips crashed together. Cas wrapped his arms around Dean’s neck, before slowly leaning out of the kiss. “Or, we could stay in tonight.” Cas whispered against Dean’s lips.

Dean smiled and kissed Cas again, “But I really want us to go out and do something.” Dean pressed his forehead against Cas’s.

Cas rolled his eyes and dropped his hand, “Okay we’ll go out.” Dean dropped his arms from Cas’s waist so he could go freshen up. Cas walked past him a little, leaving them shoulder to shoulder, he leaned towards Dean’s ear and whispered, “But when we get home we’re going to have some fun.” He winked at Dean and walked towards the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

* * *

 

When Cas finished getting ready, he was in an outfit the resembled Dean’s; A light blue dress shirt, black slacks, and a red tie.

“Do I look okay?” He asked, walking out into the living room.

Dean walked over to him, standing a few steps in front of him. He examined Cas’s outfit, before giving him a nod of approval, “You look great.” He smiled and held out his hand for Cas to take. They walked down to Dean’s truck, and Dean opened the door for Cas.

“Oh, opening doors? Someone is being a gentleman tonight.” Dean rolled his eyes at Cas, and shut the door behind him. Dean walked over to the driver’s side and got in. “Where are we going that we got so dressed up?”

Dean smiled to himself, starting up the truck, “You’ll see.”

They drove for about ten minutes, before pulling into the parking lot of the chosen restaurant.

“Really? Of all the places you could’ve chosen to go, you chose here?” Cas laughed at Dean.

“C’mon, you love this place and you know it.”

“I do! But if we were going to go here we didn’t need to dress up!”

“Well I wanted us to look our best.” Dean got out of the truck and jogged over to Cas’s side, grabbing his hand while Cas got out. They walked over to the door, and Dean opened it. The sound of kids running around yelling, games in the other room, and the smell of pizza filled the air.

They walked over to their usual booth; they sat on the same side this time, still holding hands under the table.

“Hey guys!” the waitress walked over, “I haven’t seen you two in a while!”

“Yeah, well I thought I’d take Cas out for a special night. We just moved in together about a month ago and we still haven’t celebrated!” Dean replied to the waitress.

“Aw! Well good for you two. I take it you want the usual?”

“Yes please.” Cas smiled at her.

“Okay, I’ll be back with your drinks in a bit.” She left going back to the kitchen to get two cokes and put in an order for a medium pepperoni pizza.

Dean let go of Cas’s hand, putting his arm around his shoulder instead, kissing his temple. “I’m really glad you came out with me tonight.” He mumbled into Cas’s temple.

Cas closed his eyes and smiled, “I am too.” He put his hand on Dean’s thigh, giving it a reassuring squeeze. Cas turned his head he was looking at Dean now. He gave him a small kiss, “I love you.”

Dean smiled and kissed him back, “I love you more.”

The waitress came back over with their drinks, setting them carefully on the table. “Your pizza should be ready in about ten minutes.” She smiled and walked over to another table, greeting them.

Dean looked back at Cas, and gave him a smile. “Should we?”

Cas rolled his eyes, “Fine.” He let out a laugh, getting out of the booth. And Dean went off walking to the game room, Cas followed shortly behind him.

He still wasn’t one for playing the games, he just liked watching Dean play them, how focused he was, trying to win. Cas would laugh when Dean would get frustrated on a shooting game, or one of the driving games; considering those were the only two he ever played. Cas followed Dean around the game room, moving from screen to screen. Little kids ran around the room as well, every now and then bumping into Cas. He wondered if he and Dean would ever have children of their own. Maybe adopt a couple. Then he remembered him and Dean had only been dating for about 5 months. That’s it? Why had it felt longer? He looked back at Dean, snapping out his trance, he sat with his eyes wide and glued to the screen.

“Should we head back to the table now?” Cas leaned in asking him.

“You go ahead,” Dean said, eyes still on the screen, “I’ll be there in a minute.” Cas laughed and shook his head, walking out of the room and back to their table. He sat down and the pizza was already there, still hot. He debated if he should wait for Dean. He didn’t. He grabbed a slice, put it on his plate and started eating. By the time Dean got back Cas had already finished his slice.

“Did you start eating without me?” Dean stared down at him, since he hadn’t sat down yet.

Cas laughed, “Well I haven’t eaten all day, I’m sorry I was just really hungry.” Dean shook his head at Cas, and sat down next to him.

“I can’t believe you ate without me.” Dean said while grabbing a slice of pizza. He glared over at Cas, who smiled wide at him. “Pass me the damn parmesan cheese.” He barked, still glaring at Cas.

Cas laughed and handed him the jar. He scooted closer to Dean putting his hand on his thigh, and leaning in to whisper in his ear. “C’mon babe, don’t be mad.” He kissed Dean right below the ear.

Dean didn’t react. He just put the cheese on the pizza and acted like he wasn’t slightly turned on.

So Cas kissed him again, working his way down his neck, and then back up to his ear. “Dean I know you’re not mad.” He whispered again.

Dean shifted slightly, trying not to make it seem like he was leaning into Cas more.

Cas smiled against Dean’s neck and starting leaving small kisses there again, he brought his hand up a little farther on Dean’s thigh, and Dean’s throat hitched. He still hadn’t touched his pizza.

“Cas.” Dean sighed.

Cas went up to Dean’s ear again whispering, “let’s go home.” Dean nodded. He got up and threw a 20 on the table. The pizza was only 8 dollars and the drinks weren’t more than 1.50. But Dean didn’t care. He had to get back home with Cas.

Cas didn’t stop kissing Dean on the way home, he sat as close to Dean as he could, leaving a trail of kisses along Dean’s neck. His hand still pressed on his thigh. Multiple times Dean had to grab Cas’s hand from going up any higher.

They finally reached the parking lot of the apartment, and Dean pulled Cas out of the truck, grabbing his hand and racing upstairs. Once he finally got the door open and they were inside Dean pushed Cas up against the wall, kissing him forcefully.

“Fuck, I’ve been waiting so long for this.” Dean mumbled into Cas’s mouth. He started undoing Cas’s tie first, while Cas undid Dean’s shirt buttons. Dean shrugged his shirt off and started undoing Cas’s now. Cas got Dean’s tie off, and eventually his own shirt. Cas’s hands wandered around Dean’s chest and lower back, while Dean started to remove Cas’s pants. Once they were finally off Dean pushed himself closer to Cas, and started kissing his neck now. He moved his way up to Cas’s ear now, whispering, “Fuck babe, I’ve waited so long this.”

Cas smiled and started undoing Dean’s pants, pulling them down over Dean’s growing bulge. Cas pushed himself off the wall, making Dean walk down the hallway backwards and into the bedroom. Dean’s legs hit the front of the bed, forcing him to lie down. Cas leaned over Dean now, knees on both sides on Dean. He kissed him hard, and situated himself onto the bed, laying on top of him, with only his arms holding him up. Dean sighed into Cas’s mouth, wrapping his hands around Cas’s back, pulling him closer. Their hips moving rhythmically together. Both of them still had their boxers on, so Cas worked his way down to Dean’s hips, pressing light kisses right above the edge of Dean’s boxers.

“Cas,” Dean gasped, “Please.” One of his hands tugging on Cas’s hair, and the other one gripping the bed sheet. So Cas worked his way down more, kissing Dean’s inner thigh, and around his cock, but making sure his lips still hadn’t made contact with it, trying to tease Dean. “Cas, fuck.” Dean sighed again. Wanting more. So Cas went back up to the edge of Dean’s boxers, grabbing the elastic with his teeth and pulling them down, until Dean kicked them off. Cas started kissing Dean’s hips again, then his inner thighs, working his way slowly to the base of Dean’s dick. He kissed it lightly and worked his way up, until he was finally at his head and he took it in his mouth.

Dean gripped the bed sheet tighter, taking his other hand off Cas’s head and gripped the bed sheet with that one too. Cas looked up at him, while he took in more of Dean. Dean’s eyes were closed and mouth open like he was trying to say something, but he couldn’t get it out. Cas smiled and took in more of Dean. Dean gasped loudly, and Cas could tell he was about to reach his high point, so he stopped and started kissing around the base of Dean’s cock again.

Dean was breathing heavy, “Cas you fucking tease.” He said in between breaths. Cas laughed softly against Dean’s cock, which made Dean even more turned on, “I swear to god Cas, I’m going to burn all of your fucking books if you don’t-” and then Cas took Dean in his mouth again, working his way up and down Dean’s cock. Dean started gripping the bed sheets again; his breathing started to increase, and then he reached his climax. Cas came back up to Dean, lying on top of him, kissing his neck. Dean wrapped his arms around Cas, breathing into his hair. “Fuck Cas. Fuck. I fucking love you so much.” Cas laughed against Dean’s chest, and then suddenly he was on his back and Dean was on top of him. Dean leaned by Cas’s ear, “Your turn.” He whispered.

He started kissing behind Cas’s ear and down his neck. He worked his way down to his collarbone, down his chest and repeated the actions Cas did to him. Then he moved back up and kissed Cas on the mouth, soft and gentle, but enough to drive him crazy. He started palming Cas’s dick through his boxers, going slow to make Cas hard. Cas dug his fingers into Dean’s back.

Dean started kissing his neck again, still palming Cas. Cas continued to gasp and let out small moans every time Dean kissed him. Dean went down to Cas’s cock, kissing it through his boxers. He started kissing Cas’s inner thigh and slid off his boxers. He worked his way to the base of his cock, sucking the bottom it, and gripping it with his hand, slowly pumping it up and down.

“Dean,” Cas breathed. His hands tugging at Dean’s hair. Dean slid his mouth up Cas’s cock, letting his hand drop from it. He worked his way up to his head, letting his tongue slide around the tip of it, making Cas whimper. Then Dean took Cas fully into his mouth, sliding up and down on it, Cas gripped his hands into Dean’s hair harder, pushing Dean down further. “Fucking shit.” Cas muttered into the air. He dropped his hands from Dean’s head and grabbed onto the bed sheets. Dean was still sliding up and down Cas’s cock, rubbing his hand along his thigh. Cas’s head leaned back, pressing hard into the bed, his toes curling. Dean slid off and laid down by Cas, his head on his chest. Cas wrapped his arms around Dean, his fingers tracing over his back, breathing hard. “Fuck, why did I wait so long for this.” Cas whispered into the air. Dean’s fingers traced the outline of Cas’s collarbone. He kissed Cas’s neck softly. Cas pulled Dean up so they were laying eye to eye, his arms still wrapped around Dean.

Dean leaned in and kissed him. “It was worth the wait.” He smiled against Cas’s lips.

“I love you.” Cas pressed his forehead against Dean’s, closing his eyes.

“I love you more.” Dean whispered back, and slowly drifted off into sleep


	5. Chapter 5

_One year later_

After their first night together, the tension in the relationship seemed to disappear. They woke every morning, with Cas saying “I love you.” And Dean replying with, “I love you more.” That’s how they ended every phone conversation, what they said before they went to bed, and even just random times during the day. In December, celebrating their one year anniversary, Cas sat in the living room, waiting for Dean to get home from the shop, and he heard honking outside so he looked out the window and saw Naomi and Michael in Dean’s truck. And behind them was Dean in a new car. With a giant bow on top of it. Cas ran downstairs without a coat on, just a thermal and some pants, even though it was 26 degrees outside and snowing; He ran into Dean’s arms as he got out of the car.

“Is this for me?” Cas asked, his arms around Dean’s neck.

“No, I bought it for Sam. Think he’ll like it?” Cas gave him a glare, so Dean kissed him, “Yes it’s for you.” Cas smiled and kissed him. He let go of him, sitting inside the car looking at everything. It wasn’t too brand new, only a 2008, but Cas didn’t care, it was a hell of a lot better than his other one. The car was silver, with a working heater and leather seats. He got out of the car, closing the door behind him. Turning back to Dean and wrapping his arms around his neck again.

“I love you so much, thank you.” He kissed Dean once again.

“I love you more.” Dean mumbled against Cas’s lips. “Aren’t you cold?” Cas laughed.

“Does it matter? I have a car with a working heater!” Dean laughed at him, shrugging off his coat to give to Cas.

 

That was 6 months ago, it was now July.

“Hey, babe?” Dean wandered out of the bedroom and into the living room where Cas was.

“Hmm?”

“Did we buy water yesterday?”

“Uh, no, I don’t think we did.” Cas replied. Dean sighed going into the kitchen looking in the fridge just to double check.

“No, we didn’t. I’m gonna run to the store and get some, okay?”

“Alright.”

Dean opened the door and started walking out before Cas yelled,

“Hey!” Dean turned around, giving him a questioning look, “I love you.” Cas smiled.

Dean rolled his eyes, “I love you more.” He winked at Cas and shut the door behind him, walking down to the truck.

The store wasn’t too far away, only about 8 or 9 minutes from the apartment. It was almost 9 o’clock at night, he knew he’d be back by at least 9:30, so him and Cas could watch _The Last Exorcism 2_ , that was playing on HBO tonight. He was at a stoplight when his phone started ringing; it was one of the customers from the shop, probably saying they needed their battery changed or something. He picked it up, one of his bad habits. Cas always told him, _don’t answer your phone while you’re driving, your luck you’ll run into a curb and dent in the front of your truck!_ ‘

“Hey Jodi! What’s up?”

“Hey Dean. I know it’s late but I was wondering if you could give me Bobby’s number? I just got a new phone and I only had your number and a couple of other’s written down. I just need to ask him if he can fit me in sometime tomorrow for an oil change.”

The light turned green so Dean went before the car behind him started honking. “Yeah sure, give me one sec.” He reached over into the glove compartment, making sure he kept his eyes on the road. He pulled out a slip of paper which had a couple of numbers on it. He leaned back over, so he was sitting up straight again. A car came zooming past him; he nearly crashed right into it. He slammed on the brakes, thankful no one was behind him. He remembered Jodi was still on the phone. “Okay sorry, it’s 555-4398.”

“Okay! Thanks Dean!”

“Yeah no problem.” He hung up putting the piece of paper back in the glove compartment, and tossing his phone into the cup holder. He looked back up at the street and all he saw were white lights coming straight at him.

* * *

 

It was 10 o’clock and Dean wasn’t home. Cas tried calling him three times already and he wasn’t answering, it just went straight to voicemail. He looked out the window every couple of minutes, to see if Dean’s truck was pulling up yet. It wasn’t. He went into the kitchen to grab a drink when his phone rang.

It was Dean.

“Dean? Why haven’t you been answering?”

“Is this Castiel?” Cas didn’t recognize the voice on the phone.

“Yes. Who’s this?” Cas asked.

“This is nurse Masters, from Arrowhead hospital, I was looking through Dean’s phone and this was the only number he had under his emergency contacts.”

“Wait hospital? What happened? Is Dean okay?”

“Sir I’m going to need you to come down to the hospital so I can explain in person.” Cas hang up grabbing his keys and racing down to his car. Tears filling up his eyes. _It’s okay. Dean’s fine. Nothing happened. He’s okay._ He opened his car door and started it immediately. He pulled out of the parking lot and drove as fast as he could to the hospital.

 

Once he got there, he went in through the Emergency door and looked to see if he could find where nurse Masters was. She was sitting behind a circular, white desk.

“Hi. I’m Castiel, you called me on the phone about Dean. Where is he? Is he alright?” The nurse stood up and walked around the other side of the desk.

“Follow me.” They walked in silence down a hallway. She made about 100 turns it felt like to Cas. It was a never ending hallway. She wouldn’t answer any of his questions, just kept walking until she reached a door and stopped. “He’s in here.” She didn’t reach for the door, or open it all. She just stood there. So Cas reached for it and opened it. He stopped breathing as soon as he walked into the room. _No. No no no no no. No please. Please let me be dreaming. No._

He walked over to the bed where Dean was laying. He had an IV in him, his head was wrapped in bandages, his leg propped up, and wrapped in a cast. He had a breathing tube in his mouth and up his nose. Cas sat down on the chair that was beside the bed. He wasn’t crying; he wasn’t even sure he was breathing. He felt like everything was moving in slow motion. He grabbed Dean’s hand squeezing it. He knew he was crying now. He could feel the tears streaming down his face.

“No, Dean. Dean, you. You can’t be. Dean.” He brought Dean’s hand up to his face. Kissing the back of his hand. “Dean please wake up. For me. Please. You have to.” Cas started gasping now. Looking for air. He was crying too hard. This was all a dream. He was going to wake up and him and Dean would be lying in bed together, and Dean would kiss him, telling him how much he loves him, and how everything is going to be okay.

Because it’s always okay.

Cas looked up at Dean’s face, his right eye was swollen, and he had stitches going up and down his chin.

The doctor walked in.

“Are you Castiel?” Cas took a moment before looking at the doctor and standing up.

“Um yes.” He reached over shook the doctor’s hand.

“You’re his?” The doctor looked confused, letting go of Cas’s hand.

“Boyfriend.”

“Okay. Does Mr. Winchester have any family?” Cas nodded.

“Yeah, his dad and younger brother.”

“Could you give me his father’s number, so I can have Ms. Masters call him?” Cas nodded again telling the doctor John’s number. After he had gone and gave the nurse the number he went back into the room where Cas was still standing. “I take it you have some questions?”

“What happened?”

“He was in a car accident.” Cas flinched at the image that popped into his head.

“What’s wrong with him? Is he going to be okay?”

“He was badly injured. He broke his leg, as you can see. He broke several of his ribs as well, and he suffered severe head trauma. By the time the paramedics brought him they had stabilized his breathing and his bleeding. He was still awake when he got here. Forcing himself to stay awake basically, we had to give him some anesthesia to make him fall asleep, or else his brain would have put too much pressure on itself and blood vessels would start popping. His brain, reacting to the anesthesia, went into a coma.”

Cas was looking at the floor, trying to take all of this in. “Is he going to wake up.” Cas said, still looking at the floor.

“We can’t tell at this point, with the brain, anything could happen.” The doctor looked over at Cas who was now looking at Dean. Cas felt a tear drop of his cheek. “I’m sorry, we’ll do everything we can to help him.”

“Thank you.” Cas’s voice cracked. The doctor left the room, shutting the door behind him. Cas sank back down into the chair. Looking up at Dean, praying he would wake up soon.

* * *

 

John and Sam arrived about an hour later. The walked into the room and Cas jerked his head towards them. They asked him what had happened, and he explained everything to them. They stood there in disbelief as he told them the story.

“Is he going to be okay?” Sam asked. Cas shook his head.

“I don’t know. They said with the brain anything could happen.” Cas sighed, looking back at Dean, holding his hand.

John and Sam sat on two chairs that were against the wall. The nurse came in and told them it was past visiting hours, and if one person wanted to stay that’s all she could allow.

Cas insisted that John should stay, Cas could take Sam back to the apartment considering they still had the extra bed there, but John refused saying it would be best if he stayed, it’s who Dean would want to see first when he woke up. Cas nodded and gave John his house key saying they could sleep there for the night so they wouldn’t have to drive home in the middle of the night.

So Cas stayed with Dean that night, and the next night, and the next one. He probably stayed in the hospital for about two weeks. Only returning to his apartment once to take a quick shower and changing into some clothes. John told Cas he needed to go home get some sleep. Cas agreed and John drove him back to his apartment, since Cas hadn’t slept in about 2 days and was clearly unable to drive. Once Cas got back into the apartment he stood right there by the door and didn’t move. It was 2 P.M. the house was supposed to feel hot. But to Cas, all he felt was coldness. Any room he went to was cold without Dean there. He wasn’t going back to the hospital until later tonight. John told him to take a shower and get some rest. So that’s what Cas did. He went into the bathroom and turned the water on. Making it as cold as it could get. Hoping the cold water would wake him up from this nightmare.

But it didn’t.

He stood in the shower for 10 minutes. Using Dean’s shampoo, and his body wash. Trying to be as close to Dean as he could right now. Once he got out he went into the room and put on a pair of Dean’s sweatpants and one of Dean’s black short sleeved shirts, which he always wore. He crawled onto Dean’s side of the bed. Pulling the covers over his head and drifting into sleep.

* * *

 

_In the dream Dean was there, he was in the kitchen making them food. Cas was surprised to see him home, he ran over to him and hugged him._

_“When did you get home?” He whispered into Dean’s neck._

_“About 10 minutes ago, I’m surprised it took you this long to come out and see me.” Dean smiled and kissed Cas’s temple._

_“Don’t leave me, please.” Cas buried his head into Dean’s neck._

_“I won’t babe, I promise.” Cas leaned out of Dean’s neck, kissing him on the mouth._

_“I’m so glad you’re home. It was so lonely without you here.” He opened his eyes once he and Dean were done kissing, except he was looking at an empty wall in front of him. Dean was gone._

Cas shot awake looking at the clock. It was already 8:15. He was surprised he had slept so long. He went and got dressed. Putting on a pair of jeans and another one of Dean’s shirts. He walked into the living room and he could’ve sworn for a moment Dean was sitting on the couch drinking a beer. But when he looked again, the image was gone.

There was knocking at the door and John was there to bring Cas back to the hospital.

John had only dropped him off, since Sam was asleep in the backseat he said he was just going to head home, and he’d be back in a couple of days.

When Cas went back into Dean’s room, nurse Masters was there, and she was taking out his breathing tubes.

“What are you doing?” Cas asked.

“Hey Cas. He’s breathing on his own now, so we can take these out.” She smiled putting the tubes in the trash can behind her.

“Does that mean anything? Is he going to wake up soon?”

She looked at him with sympathy in her eyes. “No, it’s a positive sign, but there’s not guarantee he’ll wake up soon.” Cas nodded and sat back down in his usual spot next to Dean’s bed, grabbing his hand. The nurse walked out of the room and closed the door behind her.

Cas moved the chair up towards Dean’s head more. He leaned in so he was whispering in Dean’s ear.

“Hey baby, I’m back. And I’m not leaving for a few more days, okay? So you can wake up anytime you want. I’ll be sitting right here waiting for you.” Cas kissed Dean’s temple, since the head bandages were also removed. He took his other hand and started running his fingers through Dean’s hair. “You need to wake up soon okay? The house is getting pretty lonely without you there. Every time I fall asleep I swear I can feel you lay down next to me and wrap your arms around me.” He had to turn away because he was sure he was about to start crying. “Baby please,” his voice started getting thick, “Please for me. Who am I going to watch The Karate Kid with now? Who’s going to make me the world’s best peanut butter sandwiches?” His thumb started rubbing over Dean’s forehead. “You have to wake up Dean. You have to.” He let his head fall on Dean’s shoulder, weeping into it. And then he felt a squeeze on his hand. He stopped crying and looked up at Dean.

His eyes were still closed, he hadn’t even moved, but he knew he just squeezed Cas’s hand.

“Dean? Can you hear me?” His voice cracking. “Babe, squeeze my hand again if you can hear me.” His eyes were wide looking at Dean. Waiting to see if he felt another squeeze.

And he did. Although it was softer this time he knew he felt it.

Cas nearly burst into tears. He smiled too big, but he didn’t care. “Dean I’ll be right back okay? Don’t leave me. You gotta stay here okay?” He got up and let go of Dean’s hand running over to the nurses’ station. “He’s responding!” Cas exclaimed at nurse Masters.

“What?” She looked shocked.

“I was talking to him and he squeezed my hand and then I asked him to do it again and he did!” She stood up and motioned for Cas to go back in the room.

He did and sat down where he was before. He grabbed Dean’s hand, “Baby, you still there? Can you squeeze my hand again? We gotta show the nurse you’re here okay?” The nurse stood there, staring at their hands, which were on Dean’s lap. They both waited anxiously, and after about ten seconds Dean squeezed Cas’s hand.

Her mouth opened in shock. “I’ll be back; I’m going to go call the doctor.” She left the room and Cas kissed Dean’s hand.

“Thank you so much babe. You’re going to be okay. I know it. You’ll wake up in a few days and we can go home and get you settled in again.”

* * *

 

So for the next couple of days the doctors did tests on Dean, checking to see how his brain was doing, how well he was responding. Except, he wouldn’t respond to anyone except Cas. So they always had to make sure Cas was in the room, with Dean, talking to him, that way they could get the information they needed.

The first doctor Cas had met with came into Dean’s room, holding a folder full of papers.

“Hello Cas. I have Dean’s results.”

Cas looked at him wide-eyed, “Yeah. Yeah, okay.”

“We still can’t be certain when he’ll wake up. But we have high hopes that he’s going to. Considering he’s responding, so we know that he can hear us.”

Cas smiled, looking over at Dean, and then back at the doctor, “But, if you had to give an estimate when he might wake up, what would you say?”

The doctor looked at him and smiled, “Well in similar cases I’ve seen, within a month.” He smiled at Cas again, and left the room.

“You hear that baby? All you need to do is open your eyes okay, I have faith in you, so does Sammy and your dad, and the doctors. We know you can do it. Okay?” He kissed Dean’s forehead. He waited to see if Dean would squeeze his hand. But he didn’t. He didn’t always squeeze it every time Cas talked to him though.

* * *

 

“Cas?” A dry voice said, waking him up. He looked at the clock straight ahead of him, 1:17 A.M. He looked around the room and saw no one. So he thought he was dreaming; he situated himself back into the chair.

“Cas.” The voice said again. He looked around the room and looked over at Dean, who was laying there, green eyes piercing through the dark.

Cas’s heart nearly stopped. “Dean.” He whispered. In shock.

Dean coughed, “it’s kinda dark. Can you turn on the light?” Dean asked, his voice cracking. Cas got up quick and turned on the light. Standing on the opposite side of the room looking at Dean. “Cas, am I in a hospital?” Dean asked. Cas’s eyes filled with tears. He walked over slowly to Dean. Brushing his fingers through Dean’s hair, which was getting long.

“You’re awake.” Cas stared at him blankly.

“Cas, what’s going on.” Dean looked worried. Cas sat on the bed with Dean, sitting by his arm.

“You don’t remember?” Dean shook his head. His eyes wide. Cas cupped Dean’s cheek in his hand, “Baby, you were in a car accident.” Cas’s eyes looking over Dean’s face.

“I, what?” Dean looked like he was about to start freaking out, he tried to sit up, but winced at the pain.

“No, no. Baby, you have to stay calm okay?” Dean nodded and laid back down. Cas leaned in and kissed Dean, Dean kissing him back. Cas left his forehead against Dean’s. “I missed you so much.” His thumb rubbing over Dean’s freckles.

“How long was I out?” He whispered. Green eyes looking into Cas’s.

“About a month.” Cas replied. And Dean swallowed hard.

“A month?” Cas nodded closing his eyes, a couple of tears dropping onto Dean’s blanket. Dean reached up and wiped Cas’s tears off with his thumb. “Don’t cry, please. I’m awake now. I’m here. Please.” Cas looked back into Dean’s, which were starting to fill up with tears as well.

“No, don’t you start crying now.” Cas gave a weak laugh, kissing Dean.

“I could hear you.” Dean whispered against Cas’s lips. “I was surrounded by all this darkness, and I could hear you calling me,” Dean was crying now, “I kept trying to find my way to your voice, but it kept getting farther and farther away.” He gasped, “Your voice was barely a whisper and it just kept echoing around. I knew I had to come back to you, but I felt like I was getting farther away each time I tried finding you.”  Dean was basically sobbing now, Cas got closer to him, holding Dean in his arms, rubbing his back. Tears stained Cas’s shirt.

“Shh, it’s okay. I’m here okay. You found me. And you’re never going to lose me okay. I promise.” Cas kissed the top of Dean’s head. Dean grabbed Cas’s shirt, holding on to it like the world was ending.

“Cas I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry I left you here by yourself for so long. Cas I-” Dean stopped talking because he was gasping for air now.

“Calm down, it’s going to be okay.” Cas rubbed Dean’s back, “I’m here, and you’re here now okay. That’s all that matters. We have each other. That’s all that matters okay.” Dean started hiccupping, trying to catch his breath, nodding against Cas’s chest. Cas got up, and turned off the light. He sat back in the bed wrapping his arms around Dean again. He leaned back into the bed, so they were lying down, rubbing his back. Dean laid with his head above Cas’s heart, listening to the slow heartbeat.

“Cas.” Dean whispered into the dark.

“What is it baby.” Cas whispered back.

“I’m getting tired.”

“You slept for a month and you’re still tired?” Cas laughed. And Dean laughed with him.

“Would you be mad if I went back to sleep?”

“Not at all, babe. Just promise you’re going to come back.”

Dean nodded his head. “I promise.” He leaned up to give Cas another kiss before going to sleep.

The kiss was long, and slow. Neither of them wanting it to end. Once they both leaned out Dean wiggled his head back onto Cas’s chest.

“I’ll see you in the morning.” Dean whispered.

“I love you.” Cas whispered into Dean’s hair.

“I love you more.” Dean whispered back, before slipping back into sleep.

* * *

 

The sound of nurses and doctors rushing into the room woke Cas up. Dean was still lying in his arms.

Until he heard it.

Everything was in slow motion from that point. The nurses clearing Cas off the bed and him standing there staring down at Dean. He looked up at the screen that held his heart rate.

And it was flat lined. The doctors and nurses tried giving Dean CPR, and tried using a defibrillator.

Shocking Dean in the chest 4 or 5 times.

Cas could see the doctors yelling “Clear!” But he couldn’t hear it. Everything was too slow, and muted. Once they all looked at each other the main doctor looked at the staff,

“Time of death, 3:38 A.M.” One of the nurses looked over at Cas, and whispered in the doctor’s ear. He nodded and they all left the room. The nurse stayed behind and walked over to Cas.

“I told them to leave, in case you wanted to say your goodbyes.” She looked at him, but he didn’t look back, he just stood there looking at Dean’s lifeless body. She backed up and then walked out of the room. Cas walked back over to the bed. Lying down in it like he was before, his arms wrapped around Dean. His voice thick.

“You promised.” He whispered into Dean’s hair. 


	6. Chapter 6

It was two weeks after Dean had died. And Cas still hadn’t gone back to the apartment. He stayed at Naomi and Michael’s house the entire time. They tried getting him to go out of the house multiple times. But he refused, saying he was tired or didn’t feel good. And they accepted his excuses.

But it was true.

He was tired. He didn’t feel good. He was tired because every night he went to lay down he found himself looking at the empty side of the bed. And would stare at the wall for the rest of the night. Only sleeping about an hour or two each night. He was tired of living without Dean. He didn’t feel good, because he barely ate. He barely slept. He barely did anything. And he kept thinking, every day he stayed here, he was one day closer to going back to the apartment.

And so on his 16th day at Naomi’s and Michael’s he told them he was leaving. And he would call them sometime later this week.

 

Once he got back to the apartment, he stared at the door for about 10 minutes, debating if he should actually go in. And he put the key in, turned it, and opened the door. A gust of hot air hitting his face. He walked over to the kitchen, and opened the fridge. Everything in there had expired, so he threw it all in the trash.

He walked back into the living and sat on the couch. He stared at the tv for about 20 minutes. He didn’t want to go into the hallway, where Dean had stolen kisses from him before leaving for work.

He didn’t want to go in the bathroom where Dean left him notes written on the mirror from the all the steam in the bathroom.

He didn’t want to go into the guest room, where Dean slept whenever they got into a fight.

And he really didn’t want to go into the bedroom. Where him and Dean made love so many times. Where Dean would sneak in during the middle of the night after one of their fights. Wrapping his arms around Cas. Where he would open the door and see Dean changing after he just got out of the shower. Where he would see Dean’s side of the bed, that was going to be empty.

He looked over towards the wall, and there was a single picture hanging. Him and Dean kissing on the hood of Dean’s truck.

He remembered that day.

_“We had a good time tonight! Thanks for inviting us.” Naomi smiled at Dean and Cas._

_“We’re glad you guys could make it_. _We’ve been asking you guys to try out this pizza for a while.” Dean laughed._

_“We’ll have to do this again.” Michael said to them._

_“Definitely.” Cas smiled sitting on the hood of Dean’s truck. Waiting for them to finish talking. Except Michael and Dean somehow got sidetracked and were babbling on about cars. Naomi leaned on the hood of her car, rolling her eyes whenever Cas looked at her._

_“Dean. Can we leave now?” Cas laughed. Dean turned around walked over Cas sitting on the hood with him._

_“I was just getting started!” Michael and_ Naomi _laughed at Dean’s response. Cas rolled his eyes and turned away from Dean. “Aw, babe, don’t be like that.” Dean wrapped his arm around Cas’s mid-section. Pulling him closer to him._

_“Nope. I’m mad at you.”_

_Dean leaned into Cas’s ear whispering, “C’mon baby, I had a whole night planned for us. And by whole night.” He kissed Cas’s neck, “I mean a whole night.”_

_Cas turned to Dean and laughed. “You are too much.”_

_Dean cupped Cas’s face. “And you love it.” He kissed Cas._

_Cas could hear the click of a phone camera going off, so he knew Naomi just took a picture._

_“You better delete that! I do not look good today!” Cas shouted at her._

_“Oh shut up,” Dean said, kissing Cas again. “You look gorgeous.” And Cas laughed in the middle of the kiss._

That’s what Naomi and Michael had gotten them for their one year anniversary. A framed picture of them kissing.

Cas took the frame off the wall and walked over to the kitchen table. Pulling out a chair and setting the frame on the table. He sat down and looked at the picture. His eyes examining everything in the setting.

“You promised Dean.” He whispered to the picture. “You promised you were going to come back.” He voice tightened. “And you didn’t.” He started yelling now. He pushed his chair out from under him. Punching the wall. “You fucking promised me you were going to come back and you fucking didn’t! You left! You died on me! What the fuck was that about Dean?!” He was yelling around the room now. “You make a fucking promise and you can’t keep it?! You promised me Dean! Remember? Remember the night in the bathroom? You promised you would never leave!” He was crying more than yelling now. He hadn’t cried since the night Dean woke up. He refused to let it get to him. And here he was, crying into thin air. Wishing. Praying Dean would walk through the door and hold him one more time. Telling him everything would be okay. That he was still here, and it had all just been a bad dream.

Cas looked around the apartment staring at the door. Waiting for Dean.

But he never came.

So he went into the bedroom finally. Putting on Dean’s clothes and laying down.

He pulled the pillow Dean always slept on, close to him, and hugged it.

“I love you.” He whispered into the pillow.

And for a brief moment he thought he heard

_I love you more._

 


	7. Epilogue

After 5 years, Cas finally started dating again. He never found the right person though.

He never even moved out of his and Dean’s apartment.

He kept in touch with John and Sam. They had dinner once a month. They made sure of it.

Naomi and Michael finally got married. And Cas went to their wedding, debating if he should be Michael’s Best Man, or Naomi’s Maid of Honor. He settled with Michael because he wasn’t sure how good he would look in a dress.

Cas went to the cemetery once a week, to visit Dean. He would talk to him about work. He had finally opened up his own practice. He would tell him how his week went. Tell him how much he missed him. He’d tell him about the horrible dates he had. The guys trying to feel him up under the table. Or in the car ride on the way home. He told Dean he didn’t think he could ever love another man the way he loved Dean. He wouldn’t be able to kiss another man, because he wouldn’t be kissing Dean. It all just felt too wrong.

And the last thing Cas made sure he did. He never missed. He would go to their pizza place. Once a month. He ordered a medium pepperoni pizza with two cokes. The other one sat on the opposite side of the booth. He could hear the waitresses talking amongst themselves, asking if he had someone coming to meet him. But they never found out. The other coke just sat there. Never touched.

He would go into the game room and play Dean’s car game, seeing Dean’s name at the top every time the high scores popped up. And he would smile to himself.

 

One night when he got home, he was looking for and old sweater up in the closet when a bunch of papers came flying down on the ground. He picked them up, putting them back up in the closet. They were all old bills or receipts. He turned around and one sat right by his foot. He picked it up to put it back on the closet, but noticed it had writing on it. He looked at it and smiled.

_I think you’re really cute. And if I see you again, I think it’s decided that we need to go out._

“We did Dean. And it was the best year and 8 months of my life.” He smiled, setting the paper on the nightstand before crawling into bed and going to sleep.

_I love you._

_I love you more._


	8. Playlist

I have a few songs that I picked out for the story.   
One: Everything has Changed by Taylor Swift feat. Ed Sheeran  
Two: Flaws by Bastille (mainly about Cas and what he had gone through.)  
Three: Dear Darling by Olly Murs  
Four: You will pull through by Barcelona

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had already had a playlist posted with the first and last song and I just decided to update it because I heard these two and thought they were pretty good fits, and yeah I hope you enjoy.


End file.
